Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Why I should Teach Grammar Part 1

This is a special treat provided by a good friend of mine.  You know we all do it, and I am probably the worst offender, so that is why I have an jokes!

Why I Should Teach Grammar Pt.1
By Nire Arierep

There: A direction or location.
Let's go over there.
There you are.
There are some bitch-ass, Stepford wives in this town.

They're: They are
They're too stupid to live.
They're going to make me crazy.
Yes, they're better off dead.

Their: Belonging to them
Their dumbassery is of epic proportions.
Don't let them get their hands on you.
I hate their fekkin' guts.

To: Toward or in the direction of, or part of an action verb.
I'm going to his house and then to the store.
I'm going to kick her ass.
To Whom it May Concern: You suck.

Too: Also or extra
I want to go to the store too.
It will be too fun to kick her ass.
You suck too.

Two: More than one, less than three.
The two of us can go to the store.
If her friend is there, we can beat up two stupid hookers.
The two of them suck for cash.

Your: Belonging to you
Get your bitch ass off my mufekking lawn.
Put your foot on the mufekkin accelerator.
Your kids are not at all attractive.

You're: You are
You're gonna have my foot in your ass if you don't move it, bitch.
I'm drunk, and you're ugly, but I'll be sober tomorrow.
The church ladies said that you're a skank, bless your heart.

I am going to SELL my ex's shit at the yard SALE.

Want/Won't- to desire (rhymes with "the c-word)/contraction of Will Not (rhymes with don't):
You'll WANT to learn basic grammar so people WON'T mistake you for a moron.

Could've, Would've and Should've are contractions for the words Could HAVE, Would HAVE and Should HAVE, NOT Could OF, Would OF and Should OF! AARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!(I need to stop for a while now.  I'm going to end up bald, you know.)

Rated it

Review:  This is a true story about how many Americans have apparently lacked a proper education.  The fact that more than half of our population cannot properly speak, pronounce or write in their own native language is a testament to how little we give a shit about whether our children learn, retain what they learn and use it in their everyday lives.  

I love how the author gives examples in such a fun, carefree and spirited manner.  I liked the display of urban terms in situations we might encounter on a daily basis, so that everyone, no matter how young or old can relate and even have a better grasp of the true meaning of each word.  It was original, informative and humorous!  I will be printing this out to use as a reference, because my dumbass does this all the time!

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